Monday, January 23, 2012
quite a good time for me to post possibly a long long long post after such a long while. since i'm in the mood now, and i've got the time. let's not mention too much about how much i've been through for the past idk how long i havent posted. but let's just seize the moment and blog about whats current. =D
i guess its very true how much people actually change and mature after what they've gone through over the years. met up with gilbert and daniel the other day after their last O'level paper. and indeed, they have no doubt grown to be more mature, albeit still childish and playful and yearning for attention at times. but they no longer are the same as before. those little, innocent boys who once gave me so much trouble, so much heartache. was chatting with jerron a while ago, and i got the same feeling. the boy who once made me feel like i had 4 little devils to handle instead of the original 3, has transformed into a mature, confident young man who knows to balance right from wrong, who knows self-control, self-discipline to complete whatever he has set out to do. probably that's his key to his great O level's results! CONGRATS! =D
i chanced upon the drama graduation video made for their batch. frankly, i saw change. ELDDS has indeed grown. from the small part of the drama club which basically did improvisations and games, to one which clinched silvers at SYFs, and then to one which got invitations to perform in the school's bi-annual performance, to one which is able to stand on its own and hold their own mini-performance, and then eventually clinching the prestigious GWH for SYF 2011. the growth is indeed outstanding!
forget about the latest video not having "Say Goodbye" as the theme song, but the current batch's smiles, hugs, togetherness and their love, care and concern for each and every one seem so real, so genuine. that's probably something we used to work for, but we didnt get. now, it's finally achieved. indeed, ELDDS has come a long long way.
i got to know there are actually at least 3 ELDDS groups on fb. different groups for different batches. i guess its part and parcel, you just cant expect to be there all the time. you've got to move on. really, the teachers are mostly gone, my little ones have officially GRADUATED, my CCA probably wont recognise me anymore. in other words, my time in NCHS is up. i do hope one day we'll all get to know each other, form an ELDDS alumni, and continue to push ELD to even greater heights and one day make it an indispensable part of NCHS. but that will probably just be a wish.
alright, that's about all for NCHS and those little ones. i guess.
back to my life over the past few !@#$%^days i didnt post. in fact, i really did feel like posting something sometimes. partially to not allow my blog to look so dead, and at the same time, the vent out frustrations which possibly were on the verge of pushing me to eruption. (yes, im sure you can imagine how bad it was) but thankfully that chapter has come to a close. i've completed my class 3 mil driving course. while the process was grueling and hard, and to a certain extent, i hated some of the D.I.s during the training, at the end of the day, as usual, i thank them for their teaching and help they have given me.
but just to share something which kept me motivated, especially towards the end of the course as all the pressure were building up.
to those who're out there facing problems, facing troubles, stressing out for their projects, here's something which may help you de-stress, and chill out! ALL THE BEST!
and of course, how can i miss this on CNY,
新年快乐！
3:11 AM;
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
if one day it so happens that you child develops some difficulty in his learning abilities, if one day your child need to take a longer time to understand and digest new information and knowledge, if one day your child decides to go on the wrong path, would you give up so easily? would you give up after merely a few times of repeating the same advice, or just after a few nagging? even if you did give up, would you want to make others give up on him?
THINK ABOUT IT.
to think i thought so well of you, but you actually are just a two-faced devil who bites people behind their back. so much for the benefit of the doubt. you are just like the others, looking nice on the outside, while keeping a devil deep within. no, you're worse. you don't just try to look nice, you try to make yourself seem oh-so-friendly and approachable, and then make so many negative comments about your trainees behind their back. CUT THE ACT, SERIOUSLY!
deep down inside me, i won't know whether if one day your child will turn out to be my student or not. but if he did, i don't think you will appreciate it or even accept it, if i were to treat him the way you treated me. you may have already given up hope on me, but i don't see why you should or even need to make others do the same.
7:00 PM;
Thursday, November 17, 2011
i guess it's really been a life-transforming experience for me so far. after 8 months in service. today i officially get promoted. once again, no longer a private. but a lance corporal. it's definitely a journey which changes or rather, forces us to mature from boys to men. from the innocent blur sotongs, to confident young men.
i guess its really been my pleasure to have been able to meet so many people of so different personalities, different characters, different mindsets. i'm really beginning to believe that things actually really happen for a reason, and we can really take charge and make any and every event or happening in our lives a turning point. as much as i wanted to be in command sch, i was denied the chance. i jolly well know the reason, and i really believe that the reason as to why i failed for command school was somewhat dumb. of course, being a man was what i saw coming, since i know i kinda failed qualifying for command school in the first place.
i remember mr kwek saying, "its really about yourself, do you want to be a small fish in a big pond, or a big fish in a small pond". i guess at many junctures in my life now. i have chose to be the small fish in the big pond, where i struggle to survive, but at the same time, grow bigger and stronger. i guess in NS, i've been thrown into a situation whereby i dont exactly have a choice. to be frank, i do feel like a big fish in the small pond at times. but really, i should continue to be humble. i mean, i really am not that good yet.
i find it quite amusing how people transform, how people change just because they are thrown into different environments, different situations. no names mentioned here. but its just, people can change for the better, because they expect a 'reward'. people can change for the worse, because they no longer see the 'incentive' of being good. i guess what KS said was true, it was up to each and every one of us, as individuals, to decide how we wanted to fill up the missing gaps after he left. come to think of it, i again feel that both of us do have very similar traits, similar mindsets. especially the part about helping people, being 'selfless' in a way, making sure things go the right way as much as possible, correcting wrong actions as much as possible. but of course, i'd say im really far, far from his standards.
there really are times when i wished for KS to be around, to help me settle the wrong stuff which i see, but yet cannot do anything about. but again, sebastian never fails. xDxD for those who know me, you know im the emotional kind. on one hand my mind tells me "hey, something's wrong. go do something about it.", yet on the other hand "but that person is not going to listen, he's gonna get upset and pissed off at me." i really want to know, and to learn how exactly to strike the balance between doing what i think is right VS what others think is right.
anyway, back to myself being a man instead of a commander. it really feels good to be one of the tops among your own people. its just like you're the top few in class, of course, that also means you would not want to slip downwards. i must admit that i really enjoyed my time as a man so far. and given a choice, i'd still choose the same path. cliched as it may be, but if i choose this path of lesser pay, lesser command, lesser 'pride', but get the same buddies as i get now. go through the same things i go through. i'll definitely choose this same old path, coz it has made me grow, mature, and allowed me to see things i probably would not have seen and experience first hand, as a commander.
12:06 AM;
Friday, October 14, 2011
again, its been some time since i last posted. as usual, the feeling does come. but always dies down, either before i finish blogging, or even before i start blogging. hopefully i'll complete a proper one today. HAH!
been a rather eventful week i'd say. been tasked det comd once again. the umpteenth time as a signaller/singal trainee. i like the feeling. i like being det comd. although its the idk how many time im being det comd, this time was the time when i really blew up the hopes on me. =( day 1 i was crushed by poor planning, poor teamwork, poor decision making, and yes, a rather screwed up team. i ended the day being the det that had the most manpower, but took the longest time. and naturally, with the highest hopes on me, i blew it.
then day 2, we planned, we spoke, we decided, but only to be thrown a last minute change. overall, i still think we were being unfairly judged to a certain extent, probably still due to the extreme high expectations on me, but i guess the take away was far bigger. my teammates had been able to make personal developments since its their first time doing those roles, and we met the time limit, and also, it really wasnt as bad as we said it to be. but probably we're still not up to standard. and maybe i should have spoke up more to protect my men. so, its yet another screw up, yet another disappointing performance by me.
day 3. no more det comd, just attachees. teamed up with shawn again. i still really believe we have a good working relationship. if given a chance to choose my partners, i'll surely ranking him as one of the top few. anyway, did well on day 3. finally. =D
excercise ended and then i was thrown duty coz the original duty personnel extended his MC. initially its a "DAMN!" reaction in my heart, but after doing the duty, actually it isnt quite bad. i probably have broken that barrier between myself and the oldies. =D and i even bettered my 4km run timing. again! now im running slightly under 21. hopefully it's gna be under 20 nxt time! =P
8:49 PM;